WEEK 1:
Developing A Rule Of Life
WELCOME TO FORMATION FRIDAYS!
If you have been at our Sunday gathering the last couple weeks, you know I introduced and laid a framework for Spiritual Formation at The Parish Church. Part of that framework includes learning about and incorporating Spiritual Disciplines into our daily lives. The beautiful thing about spiritual disciplines is no matter how long you have been following Jesus, you can enter in right where you are. Will you join me as we learn what this could look like in our lives? I'm on the same journey. I'm fighting for the same things in my own life...so we will learn together.
Over the next few weeks I want to introduce the spiritual practices and habits like: silence and solitude, fasting, sabbath, prayer and scripture mediation, but this week I want to begin with the end in mind.
One of my favorite quotes from Dallas Willard comes from a conversation he had with a pastor named John Ortberg. Ortberg was pastoring a large, growing church in the late 90s but came to realize he was unhealthy in multiple areas of his life—spiritually, emotionally, and relationally. So he called his mentor Dallas Willard, described his situation, and asked what he should do. Willard replied, “You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life.” Ortberg jots that down, and asks, “Okay, what else?” Willard replied, “There is nothing else. Hurry is the great enemy of spiritual life in our day. You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life.”
I know the hurry and busyness that characterize my own life and heart—and I know what hurry and busyness does to my life with Jesus. I know what it does to my relationship with my wife and kids. I know what it does to my soul. And I’m guessing you can relate. I want us to see that hurry and busyness undercut our attempts to cultivate a rich life with Jesus, which is just one reason we need a Rule of Life. A rule of life is where I hope we will end in a few weeks. I want to introduce it today...because I think it's good to know where we are heading as we look at the individual disciplines in the weeks to come.
WHAT IS A RULE OF LIFE?
The word “rule” comes from the Latin word “regula,” which literally means “a straight piece of wood,” but it’s also the word used for a trellis. So think for a moment about what a trellis does for a vine: it supports and provides structure for the vine to grow. Without a trellis, a vine will stop growing, begin to wither, and eventually die. This image becomes even more vivid when we recall the passage we looked at the last couple weeks in John 15:
“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” -John 15:4-5
Jesus’ fundamental call to us is to abide in him. To be with him. To make our home in him. A Rule of Life helps us order our life in such way to make that possible. It’s the trellis that enables us to abide in Jesus. John Mark Comer writes, “What a trellis is to a vine, a rule of life is to abiding. It’s a structure—in this case a schedule and a set of practices—to set up abiding as the central pursuit of your life. It’s a way to organize all of your life around the practice of the presence of God, to work and rest and play and eat and drink and hang out with your friends and run errands and catch up on the news, all out of a place of deep, loving enjoyment of the Father’s company.”
Pete Scazzero defines it this way: “A Rule of Life, very simply, is an intentional, conscious plan to keep God at the center of everything we do.”
THINGS TO NOTE:
First, a Rule of Life is a means to an end. The end is enjoying and abiding with Jesus! A Rule of Life helps us create space to cultivate our relationship with him. It’s a means to that end.
Secondly, a Rule of Life encompasses the whole of your life. In other words, it’s not just a schedule pertaining to your spiritual practices. A Rule of Life includes your mind, your body, your relationships, your habits, your patterns of work and rest, and all other parts that constitute you as a person. For example, I might have great aspirations to incorporate more prayer, Bible reading, and silence & solitude into my life with Jesus, but the reality is that’ll never happen unless the number of hours I’m spending at work or watching Netflix or scrolling Instagram changes. Developing a Rule of Life helps you to look at your life as a whole and see the ways our life with Jesus is connected to things like our sleep habits, our use of technology, our work schedule, etc. In this way, a well constructed rule can help slow us down to love God and love people in a way that would otherwise be impossible.
Thirdly, you already have a functional Rule of Life. The problem is that it’s probably not conscious and intentional! We unconsciously engage in all kinds of practices every day that shape our hearts, habits, and loves. As Annie Dillard said, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. What we do with this hour, and that one, is what we are doing. A schedule defends from chaos and whim. It is a net for catching days. It is a scaffolding on which a worker can stand and labor and with both hands at sections of time.” The advantage of an intentionally planned Rule of Life is that it guards us from living lives that we don’t actually want to live. It helps us organize our days in a way that keeps enjoying and abiding with Jesus in the central place.
HOW CAN WE DEVELOP A RULE OF LIFE?
“A good rule can set us free to be our true and best selves. It is a working document, a kind of spiritual budget, not carved in stone but subject to regular review and revision. It should support us, but never constrict us.” Margaret Guenther
There’s no single “correct” way to do a Rule of Life. Your Rule will depend on your age, your stage of life, your personality, your work schedule, how long you’ve walked with Jesus, what drains you and what gives you life, whether you’re a morning person or a night owl. Here are some general principles to keep in mind:
Start small & simple. There’s a real temptation to develop an overly-ambitious Rule of Life that looks great on paper but is totally unrealistic in practice. Select some practices that are doable for you right now. You can always add more.
Take into account your stage of life. The young mother’s Rule of Life who has three children under the age of five is going to look very different from that of the retired grandfather. Similarly, the Rule of Life of one who became a Christian six months ago will look different from one who has been following Jesus for 50 years.
Be flexible. Developing a Rule of Life that fits you is a process of trial and error, so feel free to experiment until you find what works for you.
Be specific. Try for practices that are practical, concrete, and embodied, not vague and ideological, e.g. “Sabbath on Sundays” not “rest more.”
Include these basics. I encourage you to include at least these three: Scripture & Prayer, Silence & Solitude, and Sabbath. These are spiritual practices that I believe to be nearly essential to our life with Jesus. We’ll look at these in greater detail in the coming weeks, but try to include them as you’re developing your Rule.
Ok, I know this has become a really long email. So let's wrap this up. A Rule of Life is where we are heading. The summer is a great time to incorporate this into your life, because you have a little more margin. I encourage you to create a basic summer Rule of Life and see what it does for you. Go easy on yourself. Remember...this is all about enjoying Jesus. This is NOT about legalism or duty...but delight. I've included a resource below to help you along the way. It's a PDF that will help you think through your personal Rule of Life. I'm excited about the next few weeks. I hope you will join me on Fridays.
Love you dearly,
Ken
Over the next few weeks I want to introduce the spiritual practices and habits like: silence and solitude, fasting, sabbath, prayer and scripture mediation, but this week I want to begin with the end in mind.
One of my favorite quotes from Dallas Willard comes from a conversation he had with a pastor named John Ortberg. Ortberg was pastoring a large, growing church in the late 90s but came to realize he was unhealthy in multiple areas of his life—spiritually, emotionally, and relationally. So he called his mentor Dallas Willard, described his situation, and asked what he should do. Willard replied, “You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life.” Ortberg jots that down, and asks, “Okay, what else?” Willard replied, “There is nothing else. Hurry is the great enemy of spiritual life in our day. You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life.”
I know the hurry and busyness that characterize my own life and heart—and I know what hurry and busyness does to my life with Jesus. I know what it does to my relationship with my wife and kids. I know what it does to my soul. And I’m guessing you can relate. I want us to see that hurry and busyness undercut our attempts to cultivate a rich life with Jesus, which is just one reason we need a Rule of Life. A rule of life is where I hope we will end in a few weeks. I want to introduce it today...because I think it's good to know where we are heading as we look at the individual disciplines in the weeks to come.
WHAT IS A RULE OF LIFE?
The word “rule” comes from the Latin word “regula,” which literally means “a straight piece of wood,” but it’s also the word used for a trellis. So think for a moment about what a trellis does for a vine: it supports and provides structure for the vine to grow. Without a trellis, a vine will stop growing, begin to wither, and eventually die. This image becomes even more vivid when we recall the passage we looked at the last couple weeks in John 15:
“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” -John 15:4-5
Jesus’ fundamental call to us is to abide in him. To be with him. To make our home in him. A Rule of Life helps us order our life in such way to make that possible. It’s the trellis that enables us to abide in Jesus. John Mark Comer writes, “What a trellis is to a vine, a rule of life is to abiding. It’s a structure—in this case a schedule and a set of practices—to set up abiding as the central pursuit of your life. It’s a way to organize all of your life around the practice of the presence of God, to work and rest and play and eat and drink and hang out with your friends and run errands and catch up on the news, all out of a place of deep, loving enjoyment of the Father’s company.”
Pete Scazzero defines it this way: “A Rule of Life, very simply, is an intentional, conscious plan to keep God at the center of everything we do.”
THINGS TO NOTE:
First, a Rule of Life is a means to an end. The end is enjoying and abiding with Jesus! A Rule of Life helps us create space to cultivate our relationship with him. It’s a means to that end.
Secondly, a Rule of Life encompasses the whole of your life. In other words, it’s not just a schedule pertaining to your spiritual practices. A Rule of Life includes your mind, your body, your relationships, your habits, your patterns of work and rest, and all other parts that constitute you as a person. For example, I might have great aspirations to incorporate more prayer, Bible reading, and silence & solitude into my life with Jesus, but the reality is that’ll never happen unless the number of hours I’m spending at work or watching Netflix or scrolling Instagram changes. Developing a Rule of Life helps you to look at your life as a whole and see the ways our life with Jesus is connected to things like our sleep habits, our use of technology, our work schedule, etc. In this way, a well constructed rule can help slow us down to love God and love people in a way that would otherwise be impossible.
Thirdly, you already have a functional Rule of Life. The problem is that it’s probably not conscious and intentional! We unconsciously engage in all kinds of practices every day that shape our hearts, habits, and loves. As Annie Dillard said, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. What we do with this hour, and that one, is what we are doing. A schedule defends from chaos and whim. It is a net for catching days. It is a scaffolding on which a worker can stand and labor and with both hands at sections of time.” The advantage of an intentionally planned Rule of Life is that it guards us from living lives that we don’t actually want to live. It helps us organize our days in a way that keeps enjoying and abiding with Jesus in the central place.
HOW CAN WE DEVELOP A RULE OF LIFE?
“A good rule can set us free to be our true and best selves. It is a working document, a kind of spiritual budget, not carved in stone but subject to regular review and revision. It should support us, but never constrict us.” Margaret Guenther
There’s no single “correct” way to do a Rule of Life. Your Rule will depend on your age, your stage of life, your personality, your work schedule, how long you’ve walked with Jesus, what drains you and what gives you life, whether you’re a morning person or a night owl. Here are some general principles to keep in mind:
Start small & simple. There’s a real temptation to develop an overly-ambitious Rule of Life that looks great on paper but is totally unrealistic in practice. Select some practices that are doable for you right now. You can always add more.
Take into account your stage of life. The young mother’s Rule of Life who has three children under the age of five is going to look very different from that of the retired grandfather. Similarly, the Rule of Life of one who became a Christian six months ago will look different from one who has been following Jesus for 50 years.
Be flexible. Developing a Rule of Life that fits you is a process of trial and error, so feel free to experiment until you find what works for you.
Be specific. Try for practices that are practical, concrete, and embodied, not vague and ideological, e.g. “Sabbath on Sundays” not “rest more.”
Include these basics. I encourage you to include at least these three: Scripture & Prayer, Silence & Solitude, and Sabbath. These are spiritual practices that I believe to be nearly essential to our life with Jesus. We’ll look at these in greater detail in the coming weeks, but try to include them as you’re developing your Rule.
Ok, I know this has become a really long email. So let's wrap this up. A Rule of Life is where we are heading. The summer is a great time to incorporate this into your life, because you have a little more margin. I encourage you to create a basic summer Rule of Life and see what it does for you. Go easy on yourself. Remember...this is all about enjoying Jesus. This is NOT about legalism or duty...but delight. I've included a resource below to help you along the way. It's a PDF that will help you think through your personal Rule of Life. I'm excited about the next few weeks. I hope you will join me on Fridays.
Love you dearly,
Ken